We all have experienced bullying somewhere at some point of our lives, knowingly or unknowingly. At moments it have been considered as a fun moment and at other times, bullying left deep emotional scars in people's life. In some extreme situations, bullying also involves violent threats, property damage, or someone getting seriously hurt. Bullying can be a one time experience for some, and also it can be something that someone has been struggling with for a long time. But however it is, bullying is never a way of having fun with others and it must never be considered normal. In India, the cases of bullying is comparatively less than any other European countries where this whole issue is given so much importance. But this is not shocking that every 9 out of 10 people in India have experienced bullying in their life, be it in school or college that has left a deep scar or even traumatized them for life. Many a times, people do not think it's necessary to bring up this issue in limelight or there is a point in discussing about it, which is why the cases of bullying are often discovered as just a part of bad experiences in people's life. But Bullying is not something normal and it's time we learn to deal with so that it can be stopped.

But before we dive into more details, it's important that we understand what Bullying is in real sense.

The unwanted, aggressive behaviour among school children especially that involves a real or perceived power imbalance is considered to be Bullying. The behaviour of bullying is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. According to the Government of United Kingdom, to consider a certain behaviour as bullying, it must be aggressive and hurtful. Bullying is usually a power imbalance where kids who are bullied, uses their power to control, threaten and harm others. This power can come in any form, be it physical strength, verbal strength or just popularity with a negative energy.

Behaviour of bullying is not a one time experience and have the potential to happen more than once. Bullying includes hateful and unkind actions like threatening, spreading of rumours, physical attacks, verbal attacks, behavioural attacks such as excluding someone from a group purposively.

The Types of Bullying

1. Physical Bullying: Physical bullying is mostly common in residential schools or somewhere when the students are mostly involved with their fellow ones than with teachers or parents. Physical bullying behaviours involve hurting person physically or their possessions. It includes actions like hitting others, punching without any definite reasons or very petty reasons, kicking, pinching, tripping the victim while they walk or pushing them so that they fall or even spitting on them. Taking away someone's belongings or breaking them is also a very common example of physical bullying. And making uncomfortable and mean hand gestures on others also fall into this category.

2. Verbal Bullying: Verbal bullying is also another common way of bullying others which most of the time people try to include in fun elements. However, verbal bullying is as traumatizing as physically bullying. Verbal bullying includes threatening to cause harms, teasing repetitively, name calling or giving inappropriate sexual comments to someone. Although verbal bullying seems to be less harmful, it is one of the most dangerous and harmful type of bullying as it leaves traumatized or affects the mental health of kids for a long time.

3. Social Bullying: Social bullying is also considered as relational bullying sometimes. Social bullying aims to harm the social reputation or someone's relationship with others. It includes behaviours when bullies leave the victim on purpose, or tell others not to be friends with the victim. Embarrassing someone in public tops the list in social bullying. It also involves spreading of rumours about someone or making fun of personal issues of someone out in the public.

Why do Kids Bully?

Kids bully for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's because they want to feel superior, sometimes because they want a victim who is physically and emotionally weaker than them. Or sometimes to just feel more important and popular. Sometimes, it's also that some kids torment others because they have been growing up getting the same treatment. These kids may think that their behaviour is normal because they come families or other environment where people shouts or gets angry on a regular basis.

Signs of Getting Bullied

It's really hard to know as a parent or family member if your closed one is getting bullied in school if there is no visible injuries or bruises in their body.

But there are some signs that can be noticed in children that will work as warning. These are:

1. Your child acting differently or seeming anxious all the time.

2. They are not eating, not sleeping or not doing the things they usually enjoy as before.

3. They behave moodier or get easily upset than usual or seems to remain angry all the time.

4. They are avoiding certain situations like taking the school bus or get together with friends.

Here's how you can deal with bullying and improve the situation to feel better.

1. Hold the Anger: When you are the victim of bullying, it's genuine to get upset and angry. But understand that this is what bullies thrive on. Your anger makes them feel more powerful and superior which will worsen the situation. Practice to hold your anger and stay calm. Do not react by crying or being upset. It's tough but a very useful tactic to keep of a bully's radar. Many kids practice strategies to keep their cool by counting to 10 or writing down their anger, practicing to take deep breaths or just walking away until they are clear of any danger.

2. Avoid the bully or use the buddy trick: If a bully is around or near, avoid using the same washroom or use a different one. Don't walk past the bully if nobody else is around you. You can probably wait until the bully is away. Make sure you have someone with you so that you're not alone with the bully anytime. Make a friend and buddy up with him/her. Spend time with them in the school bus or in the hallways, at recess and breaks or wherever the bully is. If someone else you know is going through bullying, offer the same help to them as well.

3. Talk about it: Talk to someone you trust, such as a guidance counselor, teacher, sibling, parents or even a friend who can offer their help. Those who you trust might offer you some helpful suggestions or help you take care of the situation. Even if they cannot fix the situation for you, you will always have people on your back who will stand by your side when you choose to raise your voice against bullying. Always try to find someone elder so that you can talk to them about it in your school campus. Teachers, principals, parents, and even lunchroom personnel or security at school can all help stop bullying and bring you out of such situations.

4. Be brave and raise your voice: If you see that things are getting worse and it is affecting your life in various ways, it's high time not to fear and be brave enough to face the situation. Raise your voice, if someone is constantly bullying you even after your avoidance, tell them how mean they are. Be loud so that people around you know you are in a bullying situation. This is a very effective way and the bullies usually gets ashamed of their behaviour.

5. Develop Confidence

Dealing with bullying can hurt a child's confidence and make very sensitive. To help rebuild the confidence in them, as parents or well wishers one can encourage the kids to spend time with friends who have a positive influence and would stay by their side. Participation in clubs, sports, or other enjoyable activities will also build bonding with other kids which will help them develop confidence. Be the listener to them when they share about their tough situations they face at school and pay attention to them. Show them that you believe in them and you'll do whatever you can to address any kind of bullying they face and help them get out of it.