Hi, young people!

All of us, at some point in our lives, face situations where we find ourselves having opinions that do not match with others. It is quite normal to think differently or have an opinion that doesn’t match with those around us. However, it is not okay to physically or verbally fight or argue with others just because we have different viewpoints. These situations can be termed as situations of conflict. And you should know how to manage conflicts without hurting the other person or yourself. 

Resolving conflicts is very important in our day-to-day lives because we interact with many people on an everyday basis — friends, siblings, classmates, etc. and we cannot function properly if we have feelings of anger or hurt. This pent-up anger will only make the situation worse and might lead us to take hasty decisions such as not talking to the other person, which will eventually damage the bond we share with these people. It might even lead us to engage in a physical or verbal duel or hurt the other person emotionally. So here are a few tips to resolve conflicts amicably, especially in school:

1. Communicate

The first step to resolve conflict is to communicate. Expressing how you feel about the situation and stating the facts will let the other person know you’re putting in genuine effort. Even if conflict occurs in the middle of class, say politely to the other person that you would like to talk later when you both have time. Focussing on the problem and not what the other person did will avoid worsening the situation. While communicating, do not use words/language that might hurt the other person. Say what you’re feeling but in a polite way.

2. Listen

Listen to the other person without interrupting. It’s important as the other person would also want to express his/her feelings just the way you do. You can ask questions to seek clarity if you’re confused about anything the other person has said. Just make sure both of you understand what the other person thinks and how he/she feels. Sometimes, listening itself can make the other person feel accepted and valued and it will make him/her understand that you actually want to resolve the conflict. 

3. Contemplate on solutions

Think and discuss about the solutions together which will benefit both of you. Share both of your perspectives on the situation, using I-statements to discuss what you both felt and did. You can use sentences such as, “I think I heard you say…” You can also think about and share ways you both could have acted differently to change what happened and how your actions impacted each other.  Do not take stress to come up with one solution immediately. Take your time to decide together what the solution(s) should be.

4. End with a fair solution

Finding a solution to the conflict is the main aim. The solution should be fair — it should benefit both of you to a certain extent. Both of you should feel comfortable with the solution, even if some compromise is required. If one person wins by using aggressive behaviour or simply agrees to what the other is saying — just out of fear, it is not a fair solution and it won’t resolve the underlying causes of the conflict.

5. Affirm and thank

After you’ve found the perfect solution to the conflict, you can affirm each other by simply saying that you agree with the resolution. You can say, “I will stick to our solution to avoid this in the future.” You can also thank each other for trying to resolve the conflict. And last, but not the least, saying “Sorry” to each other at the end is the sweetest thing you can do.

So, what are you waiting for? Go and resolve conflicts with your near and dear ones. Resolving conflicts not only ends disputes, but also helps you learn from your mistakes and solve your own problems.